Just need to write

OMG! I ahvent used this shit in forever. But I figured it was the only way I could get my stress/depression/anger/ and all that out. So I guess we can start with Holley first..

Holley..I loev her...Always have and always will. I dunno what the hell is going on in her head and Im sick and tire of it all. I want to be with her but fuck it I cant deal with her shit....Cause shes on some other shit. First she loves me and wants to be with me then she fuckin wants to be with Scott. I dunno anymore. Its like a damn rollercoaster with her. Im sick of this ride. Its not fun. I really am ready to just hop off this ride and walk away from it for good. I ripped up all the letters she gave me and I had a friend give them back to her. Im done. Im sick of the drama. I cant take it anymore. If I keep trying to deal with it anymore I think I might just take things too far and go crazy. I havent seen my therapist in over a month. I see her tomorrow and Im so damn happy! I could do so many things right now but I wont...Its for the best if I dont do anything. I dont even know why I have tried so hard. It was all for nothing. All I do is for nothing....Im so sick of this all..

And so my second rant is about Scott M. Monson. Hes so ignorant and keeps threatin people. But he still never does shit. Im sick of his shit so much just as much as holleys shit. I hate people. I really do. All Scott does is use people. All he is ever gonna do is fuckin sell drugs and run from the cops for the rest of his life. He will never be anything or do anything with his pathetic ass life. And I hope he brings holley down with him. She deserves it as well.

Now School. My school...Its pretty good. I do well in my classes....well up until now. Now I cant concentrate. But all the teachers in this school is great. I like them all. I havent really had a teacher this year that I didnt like. So Over all its been pretty good. But now with all this stress and no one to talk to cause I lost both Gil and Pam I cant deal anymore. I think about all the dramam more and more each day. I cant stand this shit anymore. I dont trust my teachers enough to talk to them. They arent like Gil and they arent like Pam.

There is some of the stress going on in my life. I think Im really going crazy. Its horrible and I kno that but I dunno anymore. My self esteem has increased so much. I think so little of myself but there is no other way I can think. Maybe...Just maybe if I walk away from everything...including my life...maybe then Ill finally feel free.