Into The Void.

Today during lunch I went and met Asshumz at Rite Aid. I had to get my Eclipse and Breaking dawn books from her so I could give them to my cousin Danielle. I did that and we were walk over to the school and just my luck, it started to pour. About maybe 2 minutes in the rain and me Asshumz and Holly all got soaked. So I decided that I was gonna make other people wet cause I was wet. So I hugged Kathleen, Shelby and Scott Blue. It was great. Everyone was kinda mad but hey it was just for fun. So after that I went downtown and got on the 3 to get home. I got to thinking on the bus and well figured out what I was gonna do when I got home. I decided I was gonna take a hot shower...which I did, then I was gonna lay in my bed under the covers...which I did also. I though about a lot while I was laying in my bed and well I also wrote the poem that I posted before this. I really hate being single and all my friends say I need to man up and get a girl. I dunno. I'm a pussy and all my friends know its true. I guess that's just who I am. So I though about certain people as I laid in my bed a little before Scott called me talking about his and Hollys relationship. Gil if you want to know what I was exactly thinking about in my bed then ask me when we have our meeting and I will tell you. Like I know I wont forget because the things I was thinking about always run through my head just no one actually knows that. 8 out of 10 times when I am sitting quietly not paying attention to anything or anyone I am thinking about that. So I'm sure I can tell you easily. So I am now wondering what people see in me. Like I realized that a lot of people like me and I don't really know why and I really want to know why. Like can anyone explain this too me? Like I really want to know and everything. And when I asked Katt why she liked me she said that she didn't know. And a lot of people tell me this I realized. Like am I just a big mystery that everyone just wants to figure out or something? Like I don't really know. And I don't think I could ask Holly for the fact that Holly doesn't like me like that. And I mean Holley was the only person to ever tell me what she seen in me. And well because of what Holley did I don't really believe what she said. Cause how can someone think anything about me when they cheat on me 7 times? So I need more of an opinion. But I dunno where to get it from. I dunno anymore and I am completely surprised at myself. I wrote this whole thing without looking at the keyboard.....Well almost. Sometimes I need to look but this is the first time I have ever done this and I am so happy about it. Like it is so cool to look at the screen and see what I am writing. But I do kinda write slow when I don't look at the board and I cant punctuate at all. I have to go back and put in all the punctuation points except periods. Well I think I am done writing for tonight seeming as it is 12:21 in the morning and I have school. So adios.